You’re with a guy who you care about, but you’ve realized something about him..
He’s pretty lazy.
Whether he doesn’t want to work, doesn’t clean, or doesn’t make plans to change his life for the better… he is lazy.
Today we’re going to talk about having a lazy boyfriend.
My boyfriend is lazy! | Ways to deal with having a lazy boyfriend
So I’ve dated maybe 1 or 2 guys in the past that were just flat out lazy.
They didn’t want to do anything whether it be keep where they lived clean or get a job.
They didn’t seem to have much ambition either.
For me the issue was really evaluating the long term aspect of the situation I was in.
Sometimes I would think that maybe they were just going through something where they were depressed or in a slump.
However I’ll be honest and just say that if you have in your mind the type of life that you want to have with a person… if it doesn’t match up, it just doesn’t match up.
Here’s what I did in both situations:
Ask the guy if he has any plans for the future.
I feel like asking someone you’re dating or interested in what goals they have or what plans they have for the future is important.
You need to be able to understand that they have things that they want to accomplish and you need to be able to see that they have thought out how they’re going to accomplish them.
They also need to be realistic.
Red Flag: If they get defensive or try to avoid talking about it.
So this is something that happened to me with a variety of guys I dated and not just lazy guys only.
I feel like once you reach a certain age (maybe 22+) you’re most likely thinking about the future.
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Are they working on their goals?
Are they taking the time to make small steps towards their goals or are they just talking?
There’s a big difference in a person with ambition and a person with just dreams without any motive to make them happen.
Encourage them or even offer to do things with them NOT FOR THEM.
Offer time to look for jobs together or to do things together that would help them go the distance.
Motivate them to go after things that they want in life.
However don’t do things for him.
Some guys will take advantage of you doing things for them and it’ll turn into a “They’re using you..” sort of situation.
Do things together with them and not for them.
Clean together. Do things together.
RED FLAG: If they don’t want to do any of these things or if it turns into an argument every time you try, you honestly might have to let them go.
Some people just don’t want to do the work.
Some people may have their own personal issues they are going through and that’s fine, but if they can’t maintain the bare necessities… they obviously won’t be able to maintain a relationship either.
If you ask a guy what his goals are or what he’d like to be doing and he doesn’t describe the type of life he’d like to have or if he gets defensive or acts like he doesn’t want to talk about it..
I SEE THAT AS A RED FLAG.
Asking about the future shouldn’t lead to an argument.
Don’t get me wrong I can understand frustration about being lost, but I feel like at the very least a guy can just say that.
“I’m not sure what I want to do just yet.”
It’s okay to even just acknowledge it, but if a guy tries to avoid the discussion.. it seems like it’s very uncaring and they’re not motivated..
Guys who I’ve asked this question to that became upset, defensive, or didn’t want to talk about it almost never changed or developed a plan of action until 6+ years later or not at all.
They’d just ride the coattails of other people.
You really have to analyze if you want to wait for a guy to make any changes if you want to make things work.
I know in my case when I dated someone that was lazy we would argue about the future or they would put a wall up about it where they didn’t want to talk about it.
After a couple of months passed of us having that discussion, I realized they were stagnant.
Whether I tried to offer solutions or presented things to them to motivate them.. it didn’t work and I realized we weren’t going to work if I wanted to be with someone who wanted a stable lifestyle the same as I did.
Sometimes you do have to unfortunately let people go if they don’t want to grow with you.
You can’t be the only person growing in a relationship.
Both of you need to not only be growing for each other, but also growing for yourselves.
So that’s my spill on having a lazy boyfriend.
Have you guys ever had a lazy boyfriend?
Let me know in the comments below!