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How long after a breakup should you date? | Dating Advice

how long after a breakup should you date

So you’re no longer in a relationship anymore.

It kind of sucks, but it’s okay because it’s time to move on… or is it?

I mean when should you start dating after a breakup anyway?

Today I’m going to share with you guys my experience of dating after breakups and what I think would be best..

How long after a breakup should you date? | Dating Advice

At the time of writing this, I’m 30 years old.

I’ve dated a looot and I’ve had a multiple of breakups happen from the time I started dating at the age of 13 up until now.

I have heard a mixture of things throughout my years of dating where people would tell me,

“You should wait to date based on the time frame you were with someone..”

So if you were with someone for 6 months.. you should take sometime to yourself and start dating in 6 months.

I have heard people say,

“You shouldn’t jump into anything quickly because you don’t want them to be a rebound.”

I’ve also heard people say,

“If someone you were with jumps into a relationship or is dating immediately after a breakup.. they were talking to them all along or they weren’t faithful.”

I have pretty much tried all of these methods from jumping into things quickly within a week to waiting the same time frame equivalent to who the breakup was with to immediately jumping into a relationship even though I hadn’t been talking to the person for a long time.

In most of my breakups, it took me maybe a few weeks to a month or two to date someone else.

It didn’t matter how long I was with someone… I know there were even sometimes where I started dating within the same week of breaking up.

From my personal experience, it just depends on how vulnerable you are after the breakup to be honest.

I was almost always vulnerable after a breakup so I would dive in head first into something else.

I wouldn’t give myself a chance to mourn the relationship, learn from it, and let it go most times.

I would end up in a situation where I wanted love so much or wanted a relationship so badly because I didn’t want to be alone.

This would result in me dating people I shouldn’t have been dating or not paying attention to red flags.

If I could give past me some advice after a breakup, I’d say…

“Give yourself a moment to grieve the relationship and reflect.

Reflect on the things you liked and didn’t like about the relationship.

Reflect on how you were treated. Reflect on how you treated them or how you reacted to certain situations.

How did they react or treat you with certain situations?

Did you respect each other? Did you give each other affection? Was care shown? Did you both value each other’s feelings?

Was their growth in the relationship as well as in your own life? Did they add to your life versus take from it?

Now think about what you don’t want from a future relationship.

Think about any red flags you missed.

Think about what you need to work on within yourself so that you can avoid this situation and keep it from happening again in the future.”

I feel like these are all things that need to be thought about and learned from.

I think once you’ve taken the time to really reflect on a relationship to sort out the issues, you can truly grow from the experience and move forward towards something better.

This is how you know when to start dating after a breakup in my opinion.

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So to sum it up, how long after a breakup should you date?

Once you mourn, evaluate the relationship, learn from what happened, and you’re ready to move on without the baggage of the past relationship…. that’s when you’re ready.

It honestly depends on you.

It could take a week, some weeks, a month, or even a couple months… but you have to be willing to date in the future with awareness and not complete vulnerability because you don’t want to be alone or because you want love.

Date with intention for something long term if that’s what you want.

Date with purpose. Be aware of what you do and don’t want.

Don’t settle just because something looks nice and can make you feel good for the moment.

Be with someone who encourages, uplifts, cares, considers, and respects you.

Don’t give into something that temporarily makes you feel better.

Think about the long term and if you see a red flag you can’t compromise on.. just let that person go if it goes against what you’d want in your ideal person.

Don’t hold out hope to change someone or how out hope that they’ll change for you.

Hold out hope for the right person who won’t have to change at all for you.

They’ll just come as they are and they’ll be ideal for you.

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So that’s my TedTalk blog post… kind of… about when to start dating after a breakup.

I hope you all found this helpful.

Feel free to share it on social media or to subscribe to my blog!

Thanks for reading!

how long after a breakup should you date

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