Have you ever been in a situation where you really liked someone only to realize that they were older than you?
You start wondering if it’d be a good fit or even worth moving forward towards a relationship because you feel like you maybe too young for them or maybe they have even shared with you that they feel like you are too young for them..
So how do you know if they’re too old for you or if you’re too young for him?
Today we’re going to dive into the aspect of age in dating.
Am I too young for him? | Is he too old for me? | Dating Advice
Disclaimer: I’m basing this dating advice on my own personal experience as well as the experiences of others I’ve known throughout my almost 30 years of life.
So I feel like there is a ground floor for age range when it comes to dating at different points of life.
I’m going to go through dating within teen years (13-17), young adult years (18 – 25), and within being a full fledge adult (anything over 25+).
Teen Dating
If you’re 14 years old and you’re interested in a 16+ year old person, honestly they maybe too old for you and you’re too young for them.
The same goes for if you’re a 16 year old interested with an 18 year old.
The main reason why I say these ages is because you’re at different stages of life within development. Even though the years are extremely close, in your teens each year you are going through a multiple of different transitions within each of those ages. The both of you will most likely be experiencing different things mentally, emotionally, and physically.
A 16 year old is mentally on a completely different level than a 14 year old. An 18 year old is mentally on a different level as well.
You also have to take into consideration the law.
You wouldn’t want to put someone or your own self in a position where the police would have to get involved because someone 18+ is dating a minor. Unless you both are in the same grade or like one grade below each other… that’s the only exception in my opinion.
Example: In the show Pretty Little Liars, a high school English teacher falls for one of his students. They end up getting involved which was EXTREMELY inappropriate and he should have went to jail since the teacher was taking advantage of her, but I digress.
My personal experience: I recall when I was a teen how grown men on social networks would approach me. I even remember being with my step mom and siblings at the mall and 18+ year old guys would approach me. I’m not going to lie, when I was younger it made me feel kind of good to receive compliments… but it was also EXTREMELY creepy. Overtime I realized I didn’t feel safe.
What would an 18 year old+ person want with a 14 year old? What would a man in their 20s want with a 16 year old?
It all seemed inappropriate and I knew I wanted to be with someone around my age range so we’d have more in common and I could have a long term relationship. Dating within my own age range with maybe someone being a year older than me or younger than me was always a safe spot to be in for me. It was also better because you’d be able to connect and have a long term relationship where you related to each other versus dating someone you didn’t relate to at all and feeling the need to change yourself just to date them.
Young Adult Years
So in my personal opinion, I feel like anyone above the age of 25 shouldn’t date an 18 or 19 year old. This is open for debate obviously, but I feel like during your young adult years you’re figuring yourself out.
You’re figuring out what you want, who you are, what type of person you want to be, your interests and dislikes…. You’re pretty much creating your true self within finally being able to make your own choices.
I feel like someone over the age of 25 attempting to date someone fresh out of college would be very predatory like.
Almost like they would be try to mold you or shape you into being what they want which wouldn’t be fair to you and is extremely creepy.
At first view, it might not seem like a bad thing… like if you’re interested in someone and you don’t know their age until you’ve already been on a couple dates.. that’s one thing. Sometimes relationships just click, but if they already know your age…
For example if a 30 year old was interested in a 19 year old, I feel like that’s extremely predatory because again a 19 year old is 1 year out of high school and coming to terms with making life decisions while a 30 year old probably is somewhat established in their ways and who they are. They’re pretty much trying to settle down at this point and have kids. It would be unfair for the 30 year old to dive into the 19 year olds life when they are still trying to figure things out.
My personal experience: After I turned 18, men of all ages came out to approach me over the years… especially online. I actually found myself and still find myself lying about my age.. that is saying I’m under 18. I believe when I was 19, there was a guy interested in me that was 26 at the time. It was weird talking to someone that was 7 years older than me because we had almost nothing in common based on the where we were in life. I took a year off from school and was thinking about college while he had been graduated from college for at least 2 years while having a whole career. They started off being okay and giving me advice while complimenting me at the same time… then it turned into them full fledge showing interest, but it just seemed so inappropriate and insinscere like they were preying on me.
Dating someone within my age range proved to be so much better throughout my young adult years versus dating someone 5+ years older than me.
Full fledge Adult
Within being a full fledge adult which is anyone 26+.. I feel like you know who you are to a degree by now. You know your dreams and long term goals. You’re probably thinking about whether you’ll have kids as well as whether marriage is even for you.
You’re also mentally and emotionally at where you’re going to be as an adult when you’re 26. You’re established in your ways to a degree. You could still make little alterations, but you are you.
I feel like if a 27 year old dated a 35 year old, even though that’s an 8 year difference because you are adults that are completely grown… things could click and workout. It’s not such a big deal.
If a 30 year old dated a 50 year old.. okay.. even though that’s a 20 year difference and thinking about it seems kind of strange, depending on the type of life you want it’s not a big factor.
If the both of you are cool with having kids or not having kids, it’s not a big deal… but if one of you wants kids while the other doesn’t… then it’s a mismatched relationship.
I think of the relationship of Monica and Richard on the sitcom Friends.
Monica was I want to say like 27-29 when she met Richard who was already a grandfather and in episodes it was revealed that he was 21 years older than her.
The relationship was great and they both were in love, but Monica was thinking about a future of kids while Richard was thinking about retirement and not being an old father.
My Experience: So I don’t have personal experience dating someone that’s much older than me and I’ve been with the same person since 2016 which I was 25 years old at the time, but I have seen people date people maybe 8+ years older than them in their 20s. To my knowledge the experience wasn’t bad. It just all depends on where you are in life and what you see for your future once you’re a full fledge adult.
So that’s how I feel. It’s certain age rules and guidelines when it comes to dating. That’s just how it goes.
Thanks for reading my “Am I too young for him? | Is he too old for me?” dating advice.
Let me know your thoughts and your experiences in the comments down below!
