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I’ve been in a multiple of situations where I was dating someone I didn’t trust and I’m going to tell you guys the honest truth about having this relationship problem.
It’s very difficult to truly be with someone and have a relationship that can actually go the distance when you don’t even trust the person you’re with.. so this is what I have to say about it based on my own personal experience.
I don’t trust my boyfriend. What do I do about it? – Relationship Advice
Trust is important in a relationship. Without trust, you honestly won’t be able to have a relationship that lasts.
In my situations when I didn’t trust my boyfriend at the time… I saw things that were truly problematic and I ignored them to keep the relationship going.
Now these things were honestly red flags like a boyfriend lying about where they’re going, who they’re talking to, or deflecting a situation because they didn’t want to be honest and they were feeling guilty.
However, I know I’ve seen other people have trust issues and to some degree it was all in their head that their significant other was doing something.
It happens sometimes.
I know sometimes I’d have anxiety when a person I currently dated did something similar to an ex that seemed to be a red flag.
It was like a trigger for me where I associated that one thing with something as bad as cheating.
Regardless, you need to evaluate the situation first and for most.
Why don’t you trust them?
Did they actually give you a reason not to trust them?
Were there signs or not?
If there weren’t any signs, why do you think you are creating issues for your relationship with the lack of trust?
If there aren’t truly any red flags and you’re just making up stuff in your head… you could be feeling insecure about something.
Maybe you’re afraid of having a stable relationship.
Maybe you don’t feel confident about who you are as a person so you create ideas that there are problems happening when they aren’t.
Maybe you’re comparing past experiences to the present where you think they’ll treat you just as bad the previous person you dated.
Truly think about the issue here.
Talk to your significant other about how you’re feeling.
Be honest with them about why you have these trust issues and why they’re in your mind.
Communication can drastically affect the way a relationship goes and being open about this could help put some ease to your mind about the issue of trust.
Apply positive thoughts.
If you continue to have these negative thoughts, try to catch yourself within these thoughts.
Ask yourself why you’re even thinking about this and say outloud something to combat the thought if it isn’t a logical thought.
Ex: He didn’t text me Good Morning, he must be talking to someone else.
Positive thought: He’s probably just busy getting ready for work and got side tracked. It’s okay. I’ll text him ‘Good Morning’ and that I miss him instead.
Go to therapy.
I always recommend that everyone attend therapy at least once or twice in their life.
You don’t have to necessarily go to therapy for only the extreme things.
You can go just to vent and to gain a new perspective on life.
Make an appointment for a therapy session at your doctor’s office or sign up for a therapy session online via BetterHelp to talk with someone.
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NOW IF THE PERSON YOU’RE DATING DID SHOW YOU SIGNS AS TO WHY YOU CAN’T TRUST THEM..
If you see signs of the person doing things..
If you have a gut feeling that you can’t trust the person you’re with and if you’re constantly feeling some sort of looming dread that they’re doing something or that something might happen with them with someone else..
I would honestly tell you to just end the relationship.
For me personally, whenever I truly didn’t trust someone and I felt myself pushing through it…
Whenever I saw signs of infidelity or things that I thought were inappropriate to be doing within a relationship… I would still stay.
Sometimes I voiced how I felt to them and sometimes I didn’t, but everytime those signs were present…
I did unfortunately get cheated on.
They were red flags that I ignored because I either really liked the person or I honestly just didn’t want to be alone and single again.
Looking back it was a learning experience for me.
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When it comes to trust and having trust, you have to be logical.
Do you see signs of your significant other doing things that are inappropriate?
Do you see them doing things that they themselves wouldn’t be okay with you doing?
Do you feel concern about the friends they hang out with where there is flirtation going on?
Really think about these questions logically because if they aren’t doing anything where you can say Yes to these questions… it may just all be in your mind.
However if you can say Yes to these questions…
You should discuss your feelings with them.
Tell them your thoughts and concerns.
Watch their response because someone who wants to make something work will listen and calmly make their significant other feel at ease.
You shouldn’t feel anxiety or turmoil or concern about whether you can trust the one you’re with or not.
The person you’re supposed to be with should be your safe place and make you feel tranquil at the end of the day.
RELATED: Should I Go through my boyfriends phone? | Dating Advice
So I hope that you guys found this beneficial.
Thanks for checking out this “I don’t trust my boyfriend” post.
Feel free to share it if you found it helpful.
Thanks for reading.
This post struck a chord with me. I also had to learn from experience how to react to the nagging suspicion that my partner was cheating on me and how to deal with it better. I liked your example of with the good morning text message. It’s something I had to learn to do, to stay positive rather than assuming the worst while implying how I feel in a nice way. Thank you for sharing this helpful advice! Especially the therapy one, because we could all benefit from some therapy.
I’m glad that you found this helpful. It can definitely be a process to stay positive versus assuming the worst especially when you have experience with being done wrong from previous relationships.
Therapy is definitely something we all should try out at some point for sure. I know I personally benefited from it in the past.