I’ve been dating since high school and I’ve been cheated on quite a bit.
The forms of cheating ranged from the person I was dating sleeping with someone else to kissing someone else.
I noticed that some form of cheating would happen in a decent amount of my relationships.
After being cheated on so many times I remember asking myself,
“Why do I keep getting cheated on? Is there something wrong with me or something I’m not doing right?”
Today we’re going to discuss why some people constantly end up in situations where they get cheated on..
Why do I keep getting cheated on? – Reasons why it happens & what to do about it | Dating Advice
So firstly.. let me just say that when you get cheated on, it is the other person’s fault.
They are the one who went outside of the relationship and chose the actions they did.
It has nothing to do with you.
I know for me… I was always a person who was like,
“It’d just be better to breakup and end things versus me being cheated on. Like if you want to do things with other people, then say that.”
However most people wouldn’t want to be that honest because they don’t like that confrontation of honesty.
They don’t even want to talk about it or they want to just attempt to cheat while also trying to make things work with the person they’re actually in a relationship with.
They want to be able to have their cake and eat it too where you just have to deal with it which is disrespectful.
So please understand that if you’ve been cheated on, it isn’t on you.
Now one thing I will say that I realized after being cheated on so many times was that I was choosing the wrong guys.
I honestly feel like if you keep getting cheated on it is because you’re choosing the wrong people to date and you’re allowing the wrong people into your life.
One thing that I noticed was that I did in fact have a type and I never really thought I did until I sat down to assess past relationships.
One day I just was thinking and I was basically like,
“What do all of my exes have in common?”
It took me awhile to realize what it was, but eventually I noticed that the thing that they all had in common was that they were all kind of arrogant and some sort of selfish tendency about them.
I recall how I first started dating the guys that cheated and the first few months of talking to them.
Thinking about it.. many of those exes…
I mistook their arrogance for confidence.
It would just be subtle things they’d do.
I don’t even know how to explain it, but the way they carried themselves.. even the ways in which they spoke.
It was all very arrogant, but I didn’t really pay it any attention.
This is actually something I’ve noticed with a lot of women who end up dating guys who end up cheating on them.
They’re choosing the same type of guys and the thing those guys have in common is arrogance.
They walk up to you confidently and talk to you confidently.
They may not really display their flaws initially or they’ll claim something is a flaw, but it isn’t really..
I also noticed that guys that are arrogant tend to be very double standard like and one sided where they want you to be a certain way or want to control you some sort of way, but the same rules don’t apply to them.
You definitely should take the time to evaluate whether the people who cheated on you had things in common with each other.
Whether it was the way they treated you or the way they acted around other people.
Did they consider how you felt? Or how other people felt?
How did they treat their family and friends?
Were they users? Did they only think about themselves?
Were they constantly getting into it with other people?
Were they onesided in situations?
Did they keep certain people around that you felt uneasy about that ended up being the person they cheated on you with?
You also could be getting cheated on because you’re ignoring red flags.
I know with a couple of guys I dated, I would see certain things like them being flirty or saying certain inappropriate things to other women..
I would cast those things I heard or saw aside like,
“It’s not a big deal…”
But those things would become issues later and become more in my face.
They would try to flip things on me or wouldn’t be honest about things when I asked them a question about someone.
They would lie about relationships too.
I would ask, “Oh you’ve only been friends with this girl? Did anything ever happen between you?”
They would lie about it only for me to find out later…
I remember one situation where that happened and I found out that my ex’s friend had actually been with him multiple times..
The guy had the audacity to be upset with me for talking about our relationship like the only reason I found out was because I was talking with them and it’s my fault I found out.
It’s like what? So you’re mad at me for finding out information you lied about and hid?
It’s things like that… don’t set yourself up for more hurt.
You just have to be honest with yourself when you see the red flags.
Let it go if you notice issues that are toxic or problematic.
Don’t settle for less than you deserve.
One thing I learned about myself was that I was too focused on being in a relationship.
I can admit that I really wanted to date someone seriously.
I really wanted to love someone and to be loved by someone.
I don’t see anything wrong with having relationship goals, but I do see an issue within trying to make someone apart of a goal when your goals aren’t the same.
It’s okay to want a relationship, but you definitely have to be cautious and willing to be aware as well as protect yourself.
Sometimes getting to over-enthused about relationships and the person you’re with… isn’t ideal if you are ignoring red flags.
It’s okay to be optimistic, but also realistic at the same time.
Think about long term growth and relationships versus just the idea of being in a relationship.
If you keep getting cheated on this is what you need to do:
Evaluate the guys who cheated on you.
Think about if they have things in common and address the fact that you ignored it.
Assess the red flags and learn that these are things to watch for in future dating scenarios.
When you date someone new, keep an eye out for those red flags.
Remember to protect yourself instead of focusing on being in a relationship.
So I hope you guys found this “Why do I keep getting cheated on” blog post helpful.
Let me know your thoughts on this topic by leaving a comment down below!