One day you find out that your boyfriend still talks to his ex.
You aren’t exactly sure what to make of it and there are so many thoughts running through your mind.
So what do you do?
Today we’re going to dicuss what to do and what it means when your boyfriend still talks to his ex.
My boyfriend still talks to his ex – What does it mean & what to do? | Relationship Advice
So what does it mean when the ex is a friend?
They are legit only friends.
Sometimes the friend bond is actually pretty strong. They could just be friends where they know it’d never work between them and they’re better off just being friends. Their relationship is strictly platonic. That’s the hope at least.
The ex is a backup.
Sometimes there is also the potential that the ex is a backup plan if your relationship with him doesn’t work out. It sucks, but it absolutely does happen a lot where the ex is in the back pocket.
The ex could be plotting to get them back.
There are some situations where the breakup wasn’t mutual or maybe it was and the ex realizes that it was a mistake. They may try to make attempts to get them back which would be obvious to you, but not so obvious to your boyfriend.
There could be some cheating happening.
This is the worst situation, but it happens where the guy you’re dating isn’t being faithful. Although I do feel like there would be signs of cheating happening.
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Things to really address..
Are there boundaries where your relationship is respected?
Has your boyfriend made sure to set boundaries where the ex knows not to cross them? Their relationship should be respectable and it shouldn’t be inappropriate or something that they wouldn’t do in front of you.
Do they hang out alone?
I personally wouldn’t be okay with my boyfriend hanging out with any of his exes alone. If it was a group of people, it wouldn’t be so bad… but spending time alone seems a bit too intimate.
Has the ex been friends with them for a long time or did they just show up?
One thing that is important to take note is whether the ex has always been around. For example, if you’ve been dating your boyfriend for like 4 months and you just heard about this ex… they must not be that close of friends? There is no reason for an ex to be popping up to reconnect or try to be friends when they are involved. It seems like a problem waiting to happen.
Have you met the ex?
It is important to meet the ex. You should be able to meet your boyfriend’s friends if it’s actually a friend. It shouldn’t be a secret and there shouldn’t be any hiding them either.
It’s also better this way because you’d be able to see if something is going on between them still or not.
Is their flirting?
Is there any flirting through text or verbal conversations? Do they compliment each other in a flirty way about appearance? That could be problematic.
Do they talk about relationship issues?
They should not be sharing their relationship problems. This is a big no no and to me it would be considered as being a form of emotional cheating. There is no reason for an ex to know any problems or for their to be confiding about relationship issues. This is a vulnerable area which is why it would be considered inappropriate.
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Is the ex in your relationship or manipulating it?
If you have noticed certain things changing within the relationship with the boyfriend interacting with the ex, then this could be problematic.
What to do if your boyfriend is still talking to his ex?
Meet her.
I honestly think the best thing to do would be to meet her to see how they interact. You’ll be able to tell if something is going on or not.
Tell him how you feel.
If you feel uncomfortable or upset by it, be honest with him about it. Let him know that you feel like it is inappropriate.
If they really care about the relationship they will remove her or they’ll let you hang out with her where you know nothing is going on.
If your boyfriend is defensive about his ex..
Whether they are defensive about you meeting her or they’re defensive about their relationship with her… I would take that as a sign of something going on.
They may want to be in control or maybe there are feelings there still.
I know I’ve had this issue where a guy I was dating had his ex pop up out of nowhere….
They ended up hanging out and they pretty much hid it from me.
When I found out, I confronted them about it. They made it seem like it wasn’t a big deal.
I asked if I could meet them and they were basically like,
“Why?” or “You don’t need to meet them.. Are you trying to be friends with them?”
I pretty much was like,
“I should know your friends if we’re trying to be serious.”
They ended up making multiple excuses that didn’t even make sense as to why I couldn’t meet them.
They also continued to hang out with them when I expressed my issues and how inappropriate it was for them to hang out.
Eventually it ended up in us getting into a big argument and I decided to end things.
Maybe 2 weeks later, I started seeing photos of them on Facebook where they were basically “rekindling” their relationship.
So this is just a story of caution…
If your boyfriend is friends with his ex.. You need to meet them.
If they get defensive they are hiding and trying to protect that relationships versus trying to maintain and protect the relationship that you two have.
I hope that you guys found this “My boyfriend still talks to his ex” post helpful.
Let me know your thoughts on this situation or if you’ve been in a situation similar to this before by leaving a comment down below.
