I’ve been ghosted a few times over my dating career in the past. Yes, I said dating career…
As you know if you’ve ever been ghosted, it pretty much sucks.
You’re left feeling lost, confused, and you’re sitting there wondering why did he ghost me?
Why did he disappear like that without ending things or even giving me a reason for leaving and not talking to me anymore?
It’s the constant thought of,
“He just abruptly stopped talking to me and I don’t know why.”
So today we’re going to talk about being ghosted and you’ll have some sort of answer to,
“Why do men ghost??”
He ghosted me – 4 Reasons why he ghosted you | Dating Advice
So why do men ghost women?
There are a variety of reasons from my experience why guys ghost women.
They’re dating someone else.
I honestly feel like this is the main thing in most situations.
Most of the time if you guys aren’t in a relationship and you’re just casually dating… they probably ghosted on you to focus on other women. However, don’t let that subtract from who you are. Some guys just want to play the field.
They don’t want to be honest.
If someone ghosts you without an explanation, they don’t want that confrontation. They don’t want to have to tell you the truth because it’ll make them seem like a bad guy for them to say they want to focus on other things. Or maybe they don’t want to tell you the truth because it takes too much effort to do so to them.
They aren’t that interested.
Some men will ghost you because they don’t really like you and they don’t want to just say that. It happens, but that’s okay because there is someone better for you out there.
Lastley, they want to be able to come back.
So a lot of guys disappear without even saying anything because they don’t want to close the door on something with some sort of potential.
They want to be able to do whatever they are going to do now and pop back up weeks, months, or even years later.
So storytime… I’m about to tell you this one ghosting experience I had that I will NEVER forget..
I remember dating this one guy.
We messaged each other almost daily for about two months and we hung out almost every weekend for those two months. So in total we hung out maybe 7-8 times.
I recall at some point as we were going into the 3rd month.. the guy pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth.
He wasn’t messaging me back or responding which was weird for me because we actually had good conversations. There wasn’t anything bad happening between us or anything. Everything seemed great.
So I remember freaking out a little bit because at the time he was a security guard in a downtown area & I legit was concerned that something happened to him.
He wasn’t updating his social media or anything. He was just gone.
I messaged him a few times and even left him a voice message or two. No response.
So maybe 3 weeks go by and one day, I notice that he updated his Facebook page…
He is just smiling in a selfie.. Looking like he is living his best life and I’m just sitting there like,
“Sooooo we were just talking and dating these past few months forrr what?
We both were putting time and energy into whatever this was for what?”
Anyway, after being kind of upset about that for awhile I got past the situation.
Now fast forward a WHOLE year later…
I dropped a cute little selfie on Facebook one day and I end up getting a message notification.
The SAME GUY… who I dated a year ago and ghosted me.. messages me on Facebook.
“Hey… I was just thinking about you. You’re looking really good.”
When I tell y’all… I was so done.
But I actually had time that day and I went in on him for ghosting me.
I said something along the lines of:
“You’re really just going to pop up out of the blue a whole year later when we were dating and just act like everything is good?”
His response was pretty much, “Okay.. I guess.”
After that I removed him as a friend and blocked him from ever finding me again..
(Yes I was being petty, but I didn’t care.)
But after that situation of being ghosted… whenever a guy ghosted me or dropped off the face of the Earth like that, I stopped caring after a week.
So what do you do when you are ghosted?
Honestly, I’d just say move on and focus on you.
Anyone who ghosts you.. that’s pretty much what they’re doing. They are focusing on their own life and doing whatever they want. So it’s best that you focus on your own life and do you too.
Anyone who ghosts you doesn’t deserve your greatness.
Anyone who ghosts you doesn’t respect you to at least just say.. “Yeah I want to talk to other people..” or “Yeah I’m just not that interested..” or “I have somethings going on so can we pause this..”
I mean of course you’d probably feel upset if they actually said that, but ghosting just leaves you feeling awful and it’s just inconsiderate.
If someone ghosts you, they just want to waste your time with the hopes that you’ll still make time for them if they choose to pop back up at some point in the future.
When people ghost, they pretty much want to explore their options without actually saying that to you.
So I say just let them go.
If you have been ghosted before, just know that you deserve better than that.
You don’t deserve to be an after thought. You deserve for someone to show you they care and acknowledge you instead of disappearing on you.
RELATED: He left me on read | What does it mean & what to do if you’re left on read – Dating Advice
So I hope that you guys found this dating advice helpful.
Feel free to share this He ghosted me post on social media because I’d greatly appreciate it.
Let me know your thoughts on being ghosted by leaving a comment down below!
