I’ve had a few guys I ended up liking tell me that they were cool with being friends with benefits. It would always catch me off guard because I just couldn’t imagine the idea of being friends with someone that you pretty much do relationship stuff with. It always seemed complicated to me and like a waste of time considering I was a person that was pretty much focused on monogamy type relationships.
Today I’m going to share with you guys my experience of being friends with benefits and what you should do if someone you’re interested in says they want to be friends with benefits.
He wants to be friends with benefits | The Truth about Being a Friend with Benefits
So first of all…
What does it mean if he wants to be friends with benefits with you?
He wants the benefits of a relationship without the rules of being in a relationship.
This person wants to be able to enjoy the aspects… whether that be emotional or physical. They just don’t want anything controlling them and telling them what to do.
He doesn’t want anything serious.
They could just not want to involve themselves in anything serious which would cause them stress, problems, or arguments.
He wants to be able to talk to other people.
They want to play the field and talk to multiple people. They want to date and just have fun with different people without any obligation to anyone.
They honestly just want to use you.
I’ll be real with you guys… being a friend with benefits means the person is using you for specific things that may only be given in a relationship depending on how you view relationships.
They may want to be able to touch or do things with you physically while also being able to do similar things with other people.
They may want emotional support or affection without the actual attachment of being involved with each other on a relationship/dating level.
The truth about being a friend with benefits
So from my experience of being friends with benefits, I did not like it at all.
I would think I could do it, but end up being hurt and upset because I wasn’t truthful with myself about what I wanted.
I would get too emotionally involved where I would want something more, but I couldn’t really address it too much because the person already stated what type of lifestyle they were living.
Eventually I learned that I had to be honest with myself and to just move forward because I wasn’t happy with the situation I was in. It was pretty much a situationship that didn’t make me feel special. It made me feel like a random girl.. in a one sided relationship where the person wasn’t really my significant other. They were pretty much for the streets or just doing them and not really concerned about how I felt.
If you’re considering being a friend with benefits..
Be honest with yourself if you’ll be okay with this.
Are you okay with being affectionate or doing physical things without being a relationship?
Are you okay with them doing those same things with other people potentially?
Are you okay with them flirting with other people and doing things with other people?
Are you okay with the lack of acknowledgement that you would honestly want in a relationship?
If you know you wouldn’t be okay with these things.. then you shouldn’t be a friend with benefits because you’ll end up causing yourself emotional destress.
Don’t think you’ll change his mind and be able to convince him to get into a relationship.
Some people go into “friends with benefits” situations thinking, they’ll be able to convince the person they’re interested in into dating them seriously. This is a horrible idea and you’ll end up wasting your time and energy trying to get someone to change their lifestyle. It’d just be easier to date someone that has the same relationship goals as you versus trying to change someone’s mind.
Are you wasting time being a friend with benefits?
If you’re okay with dating freely while the person does them and you do you, this maybe the ideal way of life for you. However if you’re a person that actually wants to be in a relationship and can’t see yourself sharing someone, it’d be best to not even try and to just move on.
Don’t change what you truly want out of life or change your dreams of a relationship filled with love for something that doesn’t fit who you are.
It’ll just make your life complicated and stressful.
So I hope that you guys found this helpful.
Let me know your thoughts on being friends with benefits by leaving a comment down below!