You’re dating someone who you really like. You seem to connect with them and have a lot of fun with them. Then you either find out or they tell you that they aren’t over their ex.
What do you do?
Today I’m going to share with you what it means if you like someone that is stuck on their ex along with my experience of dating someone who was not over their ex and liked me at the same time.
He’s not over his ex but likes me. What should I do? | Dating Advice
If this happens, they pretty much aren’t ready for a relationship.
If you’re dating someone that still has feelings for their ex, they aren’t ready to be with anyone. Their feelings will mix in with their feelings for you, but overall their feelings for their ex will outweight the feelings for you for awhile. They may not want to get over their ex or they maybe afraid to start something new because of what happened in their past relationship.
You’ll probably end up waiting for them.
Sometimes when you date someone that is still stuck on their ex, you’ll end up wasting time waiting for them to truly want to be with you. You’ll end up waiting around… wishing and hoping. There’s no guarantee that they’ll even end up with you.
You’ll end up being in a rebound relationship.
This happens when you end up dating someone right after they just got out of a relationship. They may dive head first into a relationship with you. They still care for their ex and they end up using you as a distraction to not focus on their ex. A lot of times, this doesn’t end well.
An example of this is what happened with Noah and the girl he was dating that was really into him in The Notebook. The girl was aware he still had feelings for Allie (his first love), but she continued dating him even though she knew he wanted to be with his ex.
They maybe waiting to see if their ex will come back.
Sometimes a person may not even want to get into a relationship because they are hoping that they will work things out with their ex at some point. It’s unfortunate, but it happens this way sometimes. There’s something inside of them that hopes their ex will return to them and comeback where they can start off where they left off. This happens to a lot of people where they hope things will work out with their ex down the line. Then is the worst place to be with someone if you like them because if you guys are dating and then the person shows back up saying they want them, they’ll end up leaving you.
Again an example of this is what happened in the movie, The Notebook with Noah. He built Allie the house he said he’d build her even years later and hoped she’d return to him. In the process he met a girl and they started sleeping together. Again, she was aware that he had feelings for his ex but she cared about him and wanted to be with him even though she knew he wasn’t completely into her.
My experience of dating someone who isn’t over their ex
I recall really liking this one guy. Everything was great between us and we dated for maybe a month. One day he ended up telling me that he wanted to be honest with me and he shared that he wasn’t over his ex. I felt so hurt, but I tried to understand his situation. He expressed how he really liked me and how he wish he could have an actual relationship with me, but that it wouldn’t be fair to either of us because he still had feelings for his ex.
I ended up continuing to date him and attempting to be understanding to the situation, but…. eventually I realized this situation wasn’t ideal for me without a choice. His ex ended up popping back into his life maybe 2 months into us dating. I guess she came back saying that she wanted to try again. He ended up apologizing and ending things with me. When I tell you guys, I was so freaking upset, but I knew what I was getting into when he basically warned me about how he was feeling the month previously.
It happens.
I share this all to day that if someone likes you, but they aren’t over their ex… really take the time to hear them and understand the situation. Life is unpredictable and so are people. You can attempt to wait for someone to get over their ex or you can move forward with your life and date someone without the baggage. After years of dating, I realized that there is no reason to wait for someone. The world is filled with a lot of people and you shouldn’t have to wait for someone to reciprocate and be involved in a committed relationship with you. Never forget that you are an amazing beautiful person. It may hurt at first, but sometimes it’s best to let a situation go than to stick around in a situation that can cause a variety of issues for you later.
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Remember to never settle for less. You deserve the best!
