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Being in a toxic relationship can cause you so many issues. It can make you feel drained and unhappy about life. It can even affect your health; mentally, physically, and emotionally. Today I figured I would share with you guys some toxic relationship signs that will show you whether you should get out of the relationship you’re in. Let’s jump into it!
Top 10 Toxic Relationship Signs | Dating Advice
Any type of verbal or physical abuse is toxic.
If you are constantly being abused where someone is putting their hands on you in a way that makes you feel negative or if they are talking down at you and belittling you, the relationship is toxic.
I’ll insert this clip from Why Did I Get Married where this guy brings along a woman he’s having sex with to a couples’ retreat. He not only disrespects his wife Shelia by bringing the other woman there, but he also refers to his wife as being fat and talks about her in a mean way.
If they are constantly cheating on you…
Any type of cheating is toxic in my opinion. Either they are only dating you or they are just trying to live a single life while trying to not let you be with someone else.
Not communicating with you as a way to hurt you.
I had a situation where a guy I was dating would do something disrespectful and then when I mentioned to him how it made me feel, he would flip the situation like I was starting an argument and not speak to me for days because he didn’t want to admit he was wrong.
They have double standards where they can do things they wouldn’t like being done to them.
This is a big one in my personal opinion where if someone does something that they know that they would have an issue with, it would be problematic.
Ex. Spending time with an ex, but they wouldn’t want you to spend time with an ex.
Ex. Cheating on you, but knowing they’d be upset if you cheated on them.
Ex. Flirting with other people, but knowing they’d throw a fit if you flirted with someone else.
Using manipulative tactics.
I remember I dated a few guys in the past who would do things as an investment. They’d buy me dinner and then expect something from me later. Eventually I started wanting to pay for myself versus having someone do things for me when they really wanted something in return later.
I can use the sitcom King of Queens as an example as well. In King of Queens, the couple Doug & Carrie consistently used manipulative tactics in their relationship.
Ex. Doug acted like he wanted to lose weight so that Carrie could lose weight. He acted like he was working out when he was really playing video games while she was putting in a lot of work.
Ex. Carrie wanting Doug to change so she convinced his therapist to add in things in the therapy sessions that she wanted him to change behind her husband’s back.
Here’s a video I created that dives into a manipulative tactic that someone used in their relationship.
When people who use you and make you feel obligated to do something you don’t want to do.
Sometimes in relationships of all sorts from dating to friendships, people will try to make you feel like it is your job to do something when it’s not because they want something from you.
I’ll use the show Girlfriends as an example. When Joan was working on her restaurant, her friends expected her to still cook and fix them dinner so they attempted to make her feel bad because they weren’t getting what they wanted. They tried to make her feel obligated to cooking for them and putting a hold on her dreams because they wanted her to do something for them first.
Not being supportive or downplaying your dreams or goals you have for yourself.
If you can’t speak to them about something you want to do in life because they’d react negatively or make you feel like your ideas are stupid… then it’s toxic. You should be able to talk to the one you’re in a relationship with about anything and everything. If you feel like you can’t be honest with them about things that you truly want or things that would make you feel happy then the relationship isn’t uplifting or encouraging. It’s toxic.
If they constantly hold you back from trying to do better.
Some people will see you making movements towards growth and they’ll come up with a reason as to why you shouldn’t. The reasons may not even be logical. They just don’t want to see you doing better in life.
Blaming you for the choices they make when they do something wrong.
I’ve seen this happen in a lot of shows where someone would cheat and they say the reason they cheated was because you drove them to do so, is a toxic sign. If they wanted to be with someone else, they could have just broke up with you instead of cheating on you.
They intentionally try to hurt you.
Some people will hurt you on purpose. They will take time out to plot and plan how they’re going to hurt you.
For example, the whole concept of “I cheated on you because I thought you cheated on me.”
This is purely malicious. This is the worst sort of toxic.
Escaping an abusive relationship can be a scary process that requires strength and courage. Your first step should be planning and gathering resources to ensure your safety.
For legal help, you can reach out for support from this specific lawyer or a victim advocate.
Not only will a lawyer provide personalized advice about the best course of action, but he or she can also guide you through the overwhelming process of seeking justice.
Additionally, many organizations around the country offer emotional and financial assistance to those looking to start a new life; it is important to remember you are not alone.
Getting away from an abusive relationship is never easy, but taking control of your life and seeking the right resources could make it just that little bit easier.
Check out When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People which is a helpful book about walking away from toxic relationships and people.
So those are some toxic relationship signs that show you are in a toxic situation that is hurting you instead of encouraging your growth. I feel like when you’re in a healthy relationship you’ll be able to have a respectful, encouraging, and uplifting relationship where you both feel good. You’ll want to do better for each other and be happy for each other when there is success. You’ll be faithful, kind, and considerate to who you’re with. Things won’t be one sided and communication will be key.
So now it’s time for you guys to chime in!
Let me know your thoughts on the signs you’ve experienced in toxic relationships by leaving a comment down below.