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“My boyfriend lives with his ex girlfriend…”
So you’re dating a guy and you really like him. Everything seems to be going well until you find out his living arrangements… He is living with his ex girlfriend. A lot of people may see this as a red flag, but is it? Let’s dive into the situationship of dating a guy who lives with his ex or having a boyfriend who lives with their ex.
He Lives with his Ex Girlfriend | Dating Advice
How to know there’s nothing going on between him and his ex girlfriend
They sleep in separate rooms.
This is an absolute must. If you’re dating someone who still lives with their ex, they definitely need to be sleeping in separate rooms. There is no reason why they should be sleeping in the same room or the same bed at all.
You’ve met the ex before..
If you’ve had time to meet the ex and they don’t seem like they’ll be causing trouble or if they seem like a cool person, then there isn’t much to stress about. If you’ve seen the way they interact with each other seems like nothing is going on where there isn’t any tension or flirtation… then everything should be fine.
You’re aware that the ex is actively dating.
If you know that the ex is actually dating someone and being involved with someone else… then you probably won’t feel as stressed about whether something is going on between them and the guy you’re dating.
The breakup isn’t recent or the breakup was mutual.
The basis standard of what constitutes a recent breakup would vary from couple to couple. You can tell if 2 people who used to date are actually friends, just being cordial, or they’re hoping for something to rekindle in the future. I know I personally wouldn’t want to date someone who was living with their ex who they just broke up with within the past 3 months. I feel like being broke up for at least a year is a good enough amount of time.
There aren’t any weird inappropriate rules.
I recall a post on Reddit where a woman explained that her current boyfriend was living with his ex. He expressed that he and his ex agreed on not bringing people they were dating to their apartment because they didn’t want to hear each other having sex. He also didn’t want his current girlfriend meeting or spending time with his ex yet he called the ex his a “close friend” and interacted with her through text every single day. However the situation sounded as though the guy was definitely leading a double life where he still had something going on with his ex while also having a relationship with the woman who wrote the post. To me… that just didn’t make sense mainly because how are you supposed to move on and start dating someone seriously without them knowing how you live or the people that are in your life.
An ex is an ex. They shouldn’t have such a great impact on their life where it could cause discomfort for a potential future relationship.
The reasoning behind why they still live together
Do they still live together because one of them doesn’t want to break the lease? Is it because of financial situations or because they actually want to stay in each others’ lives? Eventually you’ll be able to see what’s what… I have seen some exes live together because of convenience, but it can definitely cause a damper on their dating life because people will question whether there is still something going on or not.
If you have an issue with the person you’re dating living with their ex….. Be upfront about it and discuss your concerns. Don’t jump into a situation knowing you won’t like it. When you tell them how you feel, actually take the time to hear what they are saying. Are they taking the time to listen to your feelings about the situation or are they brushing it off? Do you think you’ll be able to deal with them living with their ex or will you always have thoughts in the back of your mind as to whether something is going on? Unless they can afford to move out comfortably… you’ll probably just have to deal with the situation or remove yourself from the situation. So be honest with yourself and with them about how you feel about.
Now it’s time for you guys to tell me your thoughts.
Would you have a boyfriend that lives with their ex?? Would you date someone who lives with their ex or is that a deal breaker for you?
Let me know in the comments down below!