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When you’ve been cheated on, the shock and hurt overwhelms you. I know for me, when I was cheated on I didn’t really know what to say. I just cried and I felt disappointed in the person because they jeopardized our entire relationship. They apologized and I could tell they were sorry, but I still didn’t know exactly what to do.. Eventually as sometime passed, I forgave them for cheating. However I realized I couldn’t forget.
Today I decided to share with you guys what happened in my situations where I took someone back after they cheated even though I couldn’t get over it.
He cheated and I forgave him | He cheated and I stayed
We addressed why they cheated after the affair.
When I was cheated on, I honestly didn’t really get a response as to why they cheated on me. From what past exes and the people who cheated on me have said, I was an amazing girlfriend. I didn’t do anything wrong that could have caused this and there wasn’t really any explanation apart from them being “weak” as some said. In my head and my heart, it wasn’t good enough for me. No answer would be good enough.
I feel like everyone who has been cheated on should ask their significant other,
“Why? Why did it happen? Why did it even get that far in the first place? You didn’t think about it being wrong…. at all?”
Trying to be with someone immediately after being cheated on is the worst.
You’ll still be hurt. You’ll still be upset that they even did it in the first place. Things will never be the same because of the disloyalty. Nothing they can do can really make you feel any better. No words can change anything because their actions spoke louder. In the situations where I was cheated on, the guy would try to keep talking to me and trying to spend time with me . They tried to find ways to make things up to me for the cheating… but it was too hard to even look at them. Things were just different. They were different and I looked at them differently.
I developed trust issues and concerns about the security of our relationship.
I know for me I developed insecurities with the person I was with when they cheated. I started wondering about who they were with or if they were still in contact with the person they cheated on me with. I worried about if they were really at work or who they were talking to on social media. I wondered about if they were truly sorry or if they truly cared about my feelings. Even though I had forgiven them for cheating on me, I was on the edge and worried about if it would happen again.
Read I Love You But I Don’t Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum if you want to try to make it work.
People can change, but I wasn’t going to wait around for it.
When it comes to being cheated on, the concept of “Once a cheater always a cheater” rings in my ear.
The wondering of “Will they do it again? Will they cheat on me again?“
I couldn’t forget about them cheating on me and a strong part of me didn’t want to.
I have dated a multiple of people in the past and I’ve learned that you get what you accept. Overtime I realized that I knew I had to remove myself because I wouldn’t ever trust them again. It would be a waste of time to attempt to stay with someone who made me feel insecure and made me feel like I couldn’t trust them.
Even if I was afraid of being alone… it was better to be alone than to be with someone that triggered my thoughts towards feeling miserable and untrusting. It just wasn’t a healthy place to be.
When it comes to being in a relationship, you have to think logically and not emotionally. Think about what’s best for you.
I say this all to say that if you can’t forget about someone cheating on you, you really have to decide on what would be best for you.
Will you always think about it in the back of your mind?
Will it fuel arguments in the future?
Will you throw it in their face?
Do you even think they can be trusted?
Take the time to really think about it.
I know for me when I was younger I invested so much of myself in relationships and then when someone cheated, I would be upset but I wouldn’t want to let go. I would stay with them.
Unfortunately in my cases, I did end up being cheated on again and I ended up realizing I was settling when I stayed after being cheated on. I deserved better.
Anyone who has been cheated on deserves better!
The one you’re supposed to be with will care.
I am biased and I will always say that the one you’re supposed to be with will not hurt you in that way. They won’t cheat on you. They’ll respect your relationship. They’ll respect you. They won’t put you in harms way or add more stress to your life. They’ll do right by you from the beginning.
So that’s the end of my “taking back someone who cheated on me” story. I hope this will give you guys some insight if you’re having a similar situation. This feeling and situation is temporary. Trust me. I’ve been there and life has brought me so much more since those times of being cheated on.
I am sending you positive thoughts and vibes. I hope that things get better for you and that this hurt you feel will leave you. You deserve the best and you will get the best soon!
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