When you’re dating someone eventually you too will reveal your past relationships or maybe you have already heard / seen their past relationships unfold. Your boyfriend cheated in the past. Now he’s with you and you’re wondering,
“Will it happen to me? Will my boyfriend cheat on me too?”
Dating someone who has cheated before | Dating a former cheater
Today I decided to share some of my own personal experience with dating someone who has a past of cheating. I figured I would share somethings to reflect on and to consider when dating someone who has cheated before and whether you should continue dating someone who has cheated.
Just because he cheated on them, doesn’t mean he will cheat on you.
A lot of times our minds will overthink a situation and we may start to compare our situations, but you have to remember that the relationship that you and your boyfriend have isn’t the same as the relationship he had with a previous girlfriend. They are two complete different situations with completely different people.
You also have to remember that people can grow and learn from their mistakes. Yes, he has a past of cheating… but it doesn’t necessarily mean that he will cheat with you. He could have realized his mistakes, learned about the consequences of his actions, and grew from that past experience.
If you feel concerned about your boyfriend potentially cheating on you, be honest. You could just sit down and talk with him about it. Share your thoughts and your feelings as well as how much you care for him. Be open with him and allow him to be open with you about the concept of cheating.
Now I do have to acknowledge certain things when it comes to factors of cheating. I have been cheated on a multiple of times and there were somethings that I didn’t really think about. I dove into a decent amount of relationships emotionally instead of thinking about the situation logically and I feel like I should just share with you guys some things I began to consider as I continued dating when I met someone who had the past experience of cheating on their exes.
Things to consider…
How many relationships did he cheat in?
Was it 1, 2, or every relationship he has been in? Is he known to have commitment isssues? It’s one thing if a guy has cheated once in the past, but if he has cheated a multiple of times he may not be ready to date someone exclusively.
Did he cheat on his ex with you?
If you’ve ended up getting into a relationship with someone who was interested in you and pursuing you while he was with someone else (kissing, having sex, etc.), there is a strong chance he will probably do the same to you in the future.
I will say that you do have to consider whether he cheated physically or emotionally on his ex with you too.
I personally have seen a lot of situations unfold with couples when it came to someone cheating on their ex and ending up in a relationship with the person they cheated on their ex with. If the cheating was physical (kissing, sex, etc.), they ended up cheating again while if the person cheated ONLY emotionally (talking with them consistently, spending time without the physical, actually falling in love) it seemed as though they stuck with that person.
Now every situation is different, but that’s just what I’ve seen to be repetitive personally.
Overall, you just have to be honest with yourself.
Either trust or let the relationship go.
It is absolutely hard to be with someone you don’t trust. You’ll always be on pins and needles when they go to places where you aren’t around. You’ll always be concerned about if they’re really into you or if they’re being honest with their feelings.
As I mentioned before, it’d be best to talk to the person you’re with. Share your thoughts and feelings then let them share theirs.
If you still feel as though you can’t trust them, let the situation go.
A relationship without trust will be filled with a lot of arguing, stress, and wasted time.
Look within yourself and make the best choice for you.
