One of the things that I have realized about myself is that I’ve grown a bit. Years ago, I used to be a person that would focus on the bad a lot to the point where I obsessed about it throughout the day. It was extremely tiring. Now that I’m older and have been through a variety of situations, I’ve learned that it is better to let go of the negativity than to focus my energy on it if I want to truly have some sort of calm in my life.
Today I figured I would share with you guys some tips revolving around how to let go of the negativity in your life.
How to let go of negativity for self growth for your mental health | Self-care
Evaluate why I am feeling negative.
There are some days where I would just wake up in a bad mood and then there are days where bad things would just happen that caused me to feel negative. It would suck and a lot of times I would feel overwhelmed instead of coming to terms with why I was so upset. I could be upset because of bad traffic, the weather, or situations involving other people where I felt like they didn’t respect me or belittled me. Within these situations it was important for me to evaluate a few things…
Am I just in a bad mood because I’m in a bad mood..
Like I said, sometimes it’s just one of those days where you wake up on the wrong side of the bad? Understand that it’s okay to have feelings for no reason, but that you should handle them accordingly. Do something for you whether it’s have a good cry, play some music to put you in a better mood, or have a cup of coffee. Start the day off doing something that’ll make you feel better.
If a situation that caused me to feel negatively did happen, how does a situation directly impact me and for how long will it affect me?
By taking the time to assess a situations impact on my life it helped me to understand the long term and short term aspect. It’s very rare that something will affect me long term. One of the things I try to remember is that the negative is temporary. Whether if something bad happens with work, school, my health, or my interactions with people… They’re mostly temporary. This means that I can work on the things that I can change. If there’s a relationship I want to fix or remove myself from that is causing me issues, I logically do what’s best for me in the situation. If my health is on the decline, I make better health choices because I’d like to live long. If I feel stressed with work, I devise a better method to effectively manage things.
For the things that will affect me long term wise..
I learn to accept the thing I can’t change.
This can be difficult. I usually apply this mostly to things like death because most things in life as I mentioned before.. are temporary. However there are other issues like if you get fired, you can’t really change that and still have a job there… but you can find a new job that could be even better. When it comes to things you can’t change, you kind of have to see the silver lining. Where is there good within this situation? To be honest in every negative situation, there is some good to reflect.
Examples of bad situations I experienced and after time I realized the good within them:
The situation: My boyfriend cheated on me.
The bad thoughts: I can’t believe this happened. He doesn’t care or respect me. I feel sad and lonely.
The good thought process after time has passed: There were a variety of things wrong with this relationship. I can remove myself from this relationship and focus on me. I deserve better.
End Result: I met someone way better who treats me better than my ex ever did.
The situation: I was let go from my job.
The bad thoughts: I’m stressed and broke. What am I going to do?
The good thought process after sometime has passed: I hated the job anyway and I was unhappy, but now I am open to apply to somewhere else as well as potentially find my passion.
End Result after a year: I am my own boss and happy with the best job I’ve ever had.
It may take sometime, but it’s important to think about the good things. Not everything is all bad. You have to remember that.
When it comes to letting go of negativity..
I try not to react with my emotions.
In the past, I used to feel upset so strongly when bad things would happen. I would want to respond instantly which would cause me to say things that were mean or I would say it with an attitude which wouldn’t give me a great reaction back. Sometimes it’s best to take sometime to stay to yourself. Breathe and calm down. Sort your thoughts out and then speak about whatever you’re upset about from a logical perspective rather than an emotional one.
Realize if the situation is worth my energy or time.
A lot of things that happen aren’t worth a reaction. Somethings you do have to just let it pass you by because it’ll either make the situation worse or it won’t even solve anything. I know for me one thing I used to have an issue with was I always felt the need to have closure on everything. Looking back, a lot of those times I sought out closure it just ended up making me even more upset. Sometimes it’s best to learn to have closure within yourself and not within other people.
This also led me to this..
Remove myself from situations that cause you negativity.
If you’re in a situation where you feel uncomfortably overwhelmed by negativity that isn’t logical at all… remove yourself from the situation.
However I also have to mention that you should reflect on if you’re the person causing the negativity as well. A lot of times we will blame people for the negative things that happen in our lives when many of the times the situations transpired because of our own actions. Take time to analyze the role you played… Were you a trigger to the situation or a bystander? If you’re a bystander, remove yourself. If you’re a trigger, assess why you caused the issue and resolve through realizing where you were wrong while also making amends to the trouble you’ve caused.
Remove yourself from being around people that are always negative.
I am at a point in my life where I remove myself from people who are always complaining. People who are always having issues with others and people who like to talk a lot of crap about people that have nothing to do with them. It’s one thing to get into debates with people, but it’s another thing to always feel negativity from someone all the time or to feel sense of being on pins and needles with someone.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some people you’ll meet who’ll seem like great people… but if you notice a pattern with them in drama filled situations or where they are always focusing on bad situations that happened with them in the past… They may not be the best people to be around because they’re most likely people who like to complain… and if you’re a complainer yourself or always find yourself getting into situations, then this is why you clicked on this article. Focus on the pros rather than the cons of situations that you feel negative about. Assess why you are drawn to drama as well. A lot of people don’t realize that they are the problem sometimes, but it’s okay. We all have flaws. The first step is realizing them and working on fixing them not only for ourselves, but for others.
Don’t harbor on things in the past.
Don’t focus on bad things that happened years ago with someone. Some people actually do grow. Don’t get me wrong… lots of people don’t put their best foot forward to change their flaws, but people can. Forgive (but don’t forget) and move on. .
So let’s recap…
- Evaluate why you’re feeling negative.
- Is something actually wrong or are you just in a bad mood?
- If a situation that caused me to feel negatively did happen, how does a situation directly impact me and for how long will it affect me?
- Learn to accept the thing I can’t change.
- Assess the good within the bad.
- Try not to react with my emotions.
- Realize if the situation is worth my energy or time.
- Remove myself from situations that cause you negativity.
- Remove yourself from being around people that are always negative.
- Analyze whether you’re the root of the negativity in your life.
- Don’t harbor on things in the past.
Overtime, you can learn how to let things go and how to handle the bad things that happen to you. You can also learn how to understand and deliver your emotions more effectively from a logical perspective. Just take time to evaluate what is happening and your overall emotions.